Reflection Essay #6

Many of the friendships I have in life are utility friendships. While I have quite a few pleasure friendships, I would still have to say that the majority are utility friendships because we don't often share more than the benefits received from being a part of the relationship. The closest relationships I can relate to the friendship of virtue are with my roommate and best friend from home. The largest thing that would need to change to acheive this is the aspect of complete equality and good intentions though. I often find that, either they or I act on selfishness instead of the well being of the other. However, both of these friends are the closest I have to perfect equality and I value both of them for being a part of my life.

The largest incident challenging my core beliefs happened during the last couple years of high school. Being raised in a christian home, I had many beliefs instilled in me from an early age. However, once certain events in high school occurred, it led to the questioning of my sexuality, as well as my religion. I used to deal with it by mentally abusing myself if I felt that I strayed away from the person I "wanted" to be. There were very many times during this period of my life that almost every reaction I had was purely a product of my emotion. My lack of concern for the consequences usually ended up leaving me feeling more insecure than if I had tried to react with more of an open mind. After going away to college, the independence I had finally gave me enough time to figure out that I was who I was, and the only way to reach my dreams was to accept and embrace the part of me I was trying so hard to eliminate. Dealing with this challenging life experience ended up shaping who I am today. And that person is a much happier and successful person than I ever imagined possible.